Time for bed

I should be in bed. The day was long, like tapdancing on a tin can, but I cannot shut down. There is something that wants to get out. It's stuck halfway between my sternum and my navel. This uncomfortable feeling of existential indigestion.

I miss the person that I was when I was younger. I miss how I could get overwhelmed with passion about something utterly insignificant. How I could get excited about a new idea. This may be why I am listening to Bryan Adams on Youtube. Harking back to days of young love. Confused and ecstatic all at once. Life was a mystery. I need to reclaim that innocence.

But Life happens. And I am grateful for it. But once in a while, in the still of night, with Robin Hood in my ears, and still life scenes flashing in front of my inner eye, I wonder.

Oh, I wonder. Wonder about the ever elusive Now. About yesterday and if there is a theme that I am missing. How much intent it would take, to create the life I want, and leave enough space for someone else.

Wow. Watching soccer in a bar in England with a boy that couldn't move. Meeting people that you didn't even know could exist. Wondering about life and how some things seems so very wrong. The sweet innocence gone.

I have my vision now. My drive is geared and ready to excute. Not knowing what is around the corner, is still cool. I have found the power in me, and I'm not afraid to use it. I am afraid that I might hurt some, but fear has little to do with me. We are strangers these days.